


Until Now

by Taurnil



Category: The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Cousin Incest, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Gimleaf, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Legolas is Arwen's GBF, M/M, Masturbation, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 18:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2702498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taurnil/pseuds/Taurnil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Legolas knows what it is to lose the one you love. Gimli knows what it is to have one you love taken from you too soon. As the two bond they open up about their past relationships, perhaps enough to finally move on.</p><p>(I suck at summaries ;-P)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Until Now

**Author's Note:**

> AN: All Hobbit references in the fic will be book verse.

 

Arwen smiled to herself in the mirror, running her comb through her beautiful black hair. She raised her hand and began to stroke the soft skin of her face. She could not smile. But neither could she cry. She just felt empty and confused as if she were lost in the middle of a dark unfamiliar forest. She stared at herself intensely, as if she were trying to interrogate her own reflection. She was so lost in her own eyes that she failed to notice her dearest friend coming closer to her, resting his hands on her shoulders.

“Do you really want to be here my darling?” Legolas asked softly. “Do you really want to be spending tonight with me?” Arwen shut her eyes, nuzzling her cheek against Legolas’s hand like a young kitten on its first night away from its mother.

“There is no-where else I would rather be than with you,” Arwen replied. “No-one else I would rather spend this night with.”

“I am flattered by your lie,” Legolas said laughing. “But I know it is a lie.” Arwen rose gracefully from the chair, wrapping her arms around her friend. Legolas returned the embrace, placing a soft kiss against Arwen’s cheek.

Arwen adored Legolas; he had been her best friend for several centuries. In truth they had only met once in person but since then they must have exchanged over a thousand letters. Arwen had told Legolas all her deepest secrets, things she could never tell her grandmother or her brothers or any of her ladies-in-waiting. She could trust him with anything and knew that he would never judge her. And it gave her great comfort to know that the feeling was entirely mutual. If it were not for Legolas than Arwen would never have even acknowledged the feelings that she was having for one she knew she should never have allowed herself to love.

“As much as I enjoy your company my love,” Legolas said with a smile. “I cannot help but feel that your time is wasted with me.”

Arwen refused to answer, holding her friend tight. Time with Legolas was never wasted. After tomorrow she might never see her friend again. When she had heard about the perilous journey that the nine walkers would be taking she had shuddered with worry for those she loved and even those she had never met before. She knew why Legolas had volunteered so willingly. His father had never allowed him to travel much. He had only been allowed to deliver the message of Gollum’s escape after his elder brother who had originally been selected had gained an ill-timed arm injury. Legolas was still somewhat convinced that he had injured himself purposely so that his little brother could take his place before their father found out. The only time before Legolas had ever travel was on his first visit to Imladris. And it was not under the most joyous of circumstances.

“Legolas…” Arwen whispered, looking up at him with honest eyes. “You are the only person in the whole world I can trust to give me an honest answer… What is it like to lose the one you love?” Legolas stilled for a few moments, holding his friend tightly against him. Arwen bit her lip in worry, terrified that she might have offended her dear friend.

Legolas left the comfort of the embrace and wandered as silently as a ghost out onto the balcony, looking up at the bright, shining stars. He beautiful green eyes stared out at the sky, glistening with unshed tears. Tears he had been shedding for hundreds of years.

“It felt like a broken promise,” He said, his voice steady but faint. “Like an un-granted wish. Truthfully the emptiness inside is something I could never describe. Nor something I would wish upon anyone else, not even my most hated of enemies. It feels like nothing could ever be good again. Like nothing could ever smell sweet or look beautiful or hear melodious. For years I felt so lost. I could not bear to talk to anyone. I hated those who tried to comfort me the most even if they did mean well. I felt like no-one could ever understand how I was feeling- how I still feel now from time to time. It was like I was living in a separate world, one without music, smiling or joy. And even in this world I did not belong. I was nothing on my own.”

Arwen bowed her head, a tear rolling down her face and splashing on the stone floor. She shut her eyes, praying herself away. She felt a soft hand underneath her chin, encouraging her to look up.

“But it’s a feeling I would not trade for anything.” Arwen opened her eyes and looked at her friend, shocked to see that he was smiling. “I will forever live with my memories. The pain makes it so I will never forget, not a single moment. Every time you feel the pain you remember how much you loved that other person. The memories are all you have left of them. So you treasure the pain because as long as you are feeling that pain, you know that what you felt was real.”

The silence that followed felt almost essential. Arwen held Legolas’s hand close to her, running her fingers over the beautiful ring on his left hand. It was a silver ring; a silver flower with a purple gem in the bud. Arwen leaned in and kissed the ring with her soft, red lips, making Legolas smile.

“Go to him my darling,” Legolas whispered in her leaf-shaped ear. “If not forever, then just for tonight. You’ll regret it if you do not.”

“But… You...” Arwen said, with genuine concern in her eyes.

“Ah please. You need not worry about me,” Legolas replied earnestly, brushing her coal black hair over her ears. “I shall be fine. I must bathe anyway- goodness knows when I’ll be able to have another decent bath!” He wrinkled his pretty nose, making his friend giggle.

Arwen leaned in and kissed her dearest friend sweetly on the cheek, smiling prettily at him as she walked out the door.

Legolas sighed loudly, stretching up towards the ceiling. He decided that he would have a bath but to try not to think about it being the last one he would be able to enjoy for a while, lest he accidentally talked himself out of going. The young elf prince filled the tub with steaming hot water, sprinkling in scented oils and petals from many different flowers. As he lowered his body into the water he felt tension that he did not even know he had been carrying leave his body. He was not upset about his conversation with Arwen. He had spoken honestly and although it was painful to think about his lost lover, she had deserved to hear the truth. Besides, no matter what her choice Arwen’s story would never be the same as his. That he was certain of.

Legolas listened to the gently wind rapping against the window and the crackling of the still glowing fire. It was a peaceful night, so quiet and serene. Legolas had always treasured his time alone living in his father’s house. Now that he thought about it he realised that there would be even less of it on the quest! He allowed himself a private smile, realising also that tonight would not only be his final chance for a bath. Legolas moaned softly through his teeth lowering his hand beneath the water to grip at his cock, already a little hard from thought alone. Legolas filled the silent room with little gasps and pants as he moved his hand swiftly up and down his shaft, causing the water to ripple and the petals to shift. When he was younger his father had told him that doing such things to oneself was dirty and sinful. That it went against the natural order of things. But Legolas was past caring.

He had stopped listening to his father many years ago.


End file.
